Five Things that Don't Suck, New Year's Eve Edition

1. champagne
2. the vague possibility of being able to stay awake until midnight
3. sleeping in tomorrow
4. Dick Clark*
5. not doing the crowded thing

*RIP

Five Things that Don't Suck, Sleepy Dogs Edition

1. furry bellies
2. those little yip noises they make when they're dreaming really hard
3. when Gracie thwaps her tail because she's sleep-wagging it
4. big doggie sighs
5. comfy beds

Five Things that Don't Suck, Let it Snow (??) Edition

1. how very little snow there is
2. how quickly it should melt
3. shoveling out the neighbors anyway so they don't slip
4. that second cup of coffee
5. not having to go anywhere today

Five Things that Don't Suck, Slow Cup of Coffee Edition

1. biscotti
2. contemplatively dipping
3. maybe a sip
4. wondering (briefly) if I should do anything productive
5. a second biscotti

Five Things that Don't Suck, Rainy Sunday Edition

1. not having the Sunday blues
2. not going to campus tomorrow
3. being a full-time poet
4. with a clean house
5. and a whole bunch of new books

Five Things that Don't Suck, Aftermath Edition

1. dogs who let me sleep until 9 on occasion
2. PJs for as much of the day as I can manage
3. putting away some of the Christmas detritus
4. reusable bags
5. a really big recycling bin

Five Things that Don't Suck, Christmas Day Edition

1. having a little quiet time to myself in the morning
2. feeling blessed in this life
3. leftover biscotti
4. a cup of coffee
5. Jed agreeing to get up at 9, the lazy slug

Five Things that Don't Suck, Christmas Eve Edition

1. not having a mouse who could be stirring (as far as I know)
2. Christmas lights
3. hanging out with people you love (and people you like!)
4. giving some good presents
5. making the dark a little brighter*

*possibly with cookies

Five Things that Don't Suck, Cookie Boxes Edition Part 2

1. molasses spice cookies
2. chocolate chip cookies*
3. salted caramel cashew shortbread bars**
4. chocolate crinkle cookies
5. puffy lemon cookies***

*they're a classic for a reason, people
**damn straight
***there's probably a better name for them but I don't know what it is

Five Things that Don't Suck, Cookie Boxes Edition (Part 1)

1. cinnamon spiced mixed nuts
2. candied orange peel*
3. chocolate and vanilla biscotti
4. orange cinnamon biscotti
5. caramel chocolate thumbprints

*very big with the grandmother crowd. Who knew?

Five Things that Don't Suck, Monday Monday Edition

1. not being able to trust that day
2. how every other day of the week is fine*
3. guaranteeing that Monday evening you would still be here with me
4. ear worms with good harmonies
5. being grateful for the occasional break from Christmas songs

*fiiiine! Yeah! 

Five Things that Don't Suck, Relaxed Sunday Edition

1. not feeling terribly pressured to do anything
2. date night
3. football games
4. a fire in the fireplace
5. breaking into the Christmas snacks

Five Things that Don't Suck, Getting Ready to Make Cookies Edition

1. figuring out what cookies to make
2. putting together some dough
3. freezing what dough I can for later
4. having a zillion cookie sheets
5. those little racks that hold 3 cookie sheets vertically so you can spare some counter space

Five Things that Don't Suck, Not-So Random Friday Edition

1. when your husband texts you to find out how many of the last-minute giving tree gifts you can afford to buy
2. buying a bunch of them
3. sending him off to work with them
4. wrapping presents
5. holiday spirit and all that jazz

Five Things That Don't Suck, OMG Is It Really the 17th Edition

1. getting gifts packed up
2. maybe making it to the post office
3. putting together stocking stuffers
4. possibly having a tree with more than one ornament on it*
5. lunch with a friend, which allows me to forget about all of the above for a little while

*theoretical

Five Things that Don't Suck, Winter Break Edition

1. Christmas shopping with the Binks
2. lunch with the self-same Binks
3. the possibility of more Binks-based Christmas shopping after lunch
4. getting mentally prepared for putting together cookie boxes
5. sending out the first batch of cards

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last Professor Day Before Break Edition

1. breakfast with writers
2. talking about poets
3. having most of my grading done
4. deliberately refusing to feel like I'm behind on all the Christmas stuff
5. all the Christmas stuff

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Monday Edition

1. a quiet-ish day on campus
2. getting lights on the tree*
3. and maybe ornaments*
4. feeling sort of like Christmas
5. feeling a lot like winter break

*theoretical

Five Things that Don't Suck, Powerful Immune System Edition

1. knocking out a cold before it really has a chance to set in
2. zinc
3. Airborne*
4. lots and lots of sleep
5. waking up the next day feeling invincible

*it's gross, and probably gets all its power from the placebo effect, but I swear by it

Five Things that Don't Suck, Definitely Not Getting Sick Edition

1. knowing that being sleepy all the time is just fun
2. not having a sore throat, absolutely not
3. Sudafed
4. feeling 100% like myself at all times
5. not having an impending feeling of doom

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last Friday of the Semester Edition

1. being very, very, very close to break*
2. having a good start on my grading
3. beginning to think about getting ready for Christmas
4. short days on campus
5. how ridiculously warm it still is

*Tuesday afternoon, people. Tuesday afternoon.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last Day of Classes Edition

1. the opportunity to see what my students can really do
2. looking forward to reading their final papers*
3. being so very, very close to winter break I can almost taste it
4. being in complete denial about how much work those final papers will be
5. this whole professor gig

*really!

Five Things that Don't Suck, Christmas Spirit Edition

1. people who want to be nice to other people
2. how much fun it can be to buy a gift for someone
3. wanting to feel this way all the time
4. secrets
5. chocolate

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last Tuesday of Classes Edition

1. the annual peer tutor party
2. probably not having to make dinner
3. sending some of my international students off into winter break
4. getting ready to wrap up my other class in a couple of days
5. caffeine

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last Week of Classes Edition

1. knowing there is grading coming, but not caring
2. students who are panicked when they come to see me, but feel better when they leave
3. a respite from meetings...soon...
4. how good these final papers are going to be
5. being able to count on one hand the number of times my alarm is going to go off between now and winter break*

*five, ironically enough

Five Things that Don't Suck, Brunch Edition

1. when someone else makes the coffee
2. and serves it to you in a china cup
3. a lovely fruit cup
4. maybe a waffle
5. a jazz trio playing in a distant room

Five Things that Don't Suck, Chore Day Edition

1. clean gutters*
2. an organized-ish shed*
3. clean laundry*
4. the stubborn leaves--you know, the ones that refuse to fall until you think you're done for the year--raked up*
5. not doing a damn thing tomorrow**

*theoretical
**probably not the least bit theoretical

Five Things that Don't Suck, Just a Regular Friday Edition

1. the Indian food that will be at today's monthly department meeting
2. the last dept. meeting of the year
3. not having a dept. meeting on the last day of classes
4. maybe seeing some people for FND tonight
5. the approach of winter break

Five Things that Don't Suck, Just Another Thursday Edition

1. being all caught up after yesterday
2. homemade applesauce*
3. having a little time this morning to get my act together on campus
4. having the house to myself tonight
5. maybe writing a poem or something

*because yum

Five Things that Don't Suck, Rainy Wednesday Edition

1. rain instead of snow
2. plants getting a nice long drink without snow being involved
3. the fact that it is still warm enough for rain
4. sleepy bees
5. soup

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Tuesday Edition

1. having tomorrow off-campus
2. using that day to get totally caught up for the semester-end blitz
3. or caught up on napping
4. or going to the thrift store, maybe
5. stuffing

Five Things that Don't Suck, Back to Campus Edition

1. two cancellations back-to-back this morning*
2. student conferences
3. the last 2 weeks of classes for the semester
4. jasmine tea
5. the prospect of having time to read

*almost definitely not going to nap in my office

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last Day of Thanksgiving Break Edition

1. staying in PJs as long as possible
2. a turkey sandwich before things get packed up for the freezer
3. the last of the pie
4. how warm it's been
5. getting ready to wind down another semester

Five Things that Don't Suck, Saturday that Feels Like it Should Be Monday Edition

1. the fact that it's definitely not Monday
2. the fact that it won't be Monday tomorrow, either
3. one last morning to hang out with my family
4. maybe watching a movie tonight
5. falling asleep on the couch

Five Things that Don't Suck, Pie for Breakfast Day Edition

1. pie. For breakfast.
2. sitting on the couch watching football with a nephew I haven't seen in way too long
3. all of the family and friends who filled my house with laughter yesterday
4. getting a little sleep last night*
5. messages from distant friends

*not enough, but more than I've been getting lately

Five Things that Don't Suck, Favorite Day of the Year Edition

1. having a giant table surrounded by family and friends
2. hugs
3. laughter
4. maybe a little wine
5. pie

Five Things that Don't Suck, Thanksgiving Prep Edition

1. making pies
2. spatchcocking the first turkey
3. a clean house
4. leftover Chinese food
5. eating the leftover Chinese food early enough in the day that it makes room for the aforementioned turkey plus the 2nd turkey, as yet uncooked

Five Things That Don't Suck, Last Day Before Thanksgiving Break Edition

1. how it's...you know...the last day before Thanksgiving Break
2. how quiet campus is going to be today*
3. being all caught up on work stuff so I can go straight into cooking and cleaning mode today
4. hiring someone to come in and do the cleaning**
5. sleeping in a little tomorrow**

*it's quiet...too quiet
**theoretical, sadly

Five Things that Don't Suck, Short Week/Long Lunch Edition

1. working one-on-one with students today
2. lunch with Nan*
3. listening to good music on the drive down to Westerly
4. and back
5. 1 1/2-day weeks

*Hi, Nan!

Five Things that Don't Suck, Lazy-ish Sunday Edition

1. any time anyone scores against the Jets*
2. good friends who are willing to lend out tables for Thanksgiving
3. panini
4. dogs who steal each other's beds
5. me and my mom, narrating the football games

*Go Texans??

Five Things that Don't Suck, Betty Campbell Edition

1. how much she loved her children
2. and her grandchildren
3. and her great grandchildren
4. and the people who married them
5. 99 love-filled years

Five Things that Don't Suck, Rainy Friday Edition

1. the knowledge that, although it may be raining, it is nonetheless Friday
2. how warm it is out
3. the cookies I made for the peer writing tutors meeting
4. the peer writing tutors
5. the last meeting of the semester

Five Things that Don't Suck, Not Enough Sleep Edition

1. coffee
2. the possibility of a nap later
3. maybe a little more coffee
4. tea
5. loving my job so much that I know it will wake me up

Five Things that Don't Suck, Off-Campus Wednesday Edition

1. haircuts
2. errands
3. getting errands finished so I no longer need to run errands
4. not having to get out of bed before it's light outside
5. slow mornings

Five Things that Don't Suck, Back to Reality Edition

1. the week before Thanksgiving break
2. the two weeks after Thanksgiving break
3. um...Thanksgiving break?
4. working with engaged, interested, interesting students
5. knowing I can get a nap this afternoon

Five Things that Don't Suck, Much-Belated Monday Edition

1. long drives without traffic
2. or construction
3. good memories of excellent times with friends who love you
4. peanut M&Ms
5. stick shifts

Five Things that Don't Suck, Hanging with Poets Edition

1. hanging out with poets
2. maybe occasionally forgetting to post a FTTDS list because you're having too much time
3. the poets with whom you get to hang out
4. long conversations
5. wine

Five Things that Don't Suck, Hotel Edition

1. a long bath
2. takeout
3. whatever ridiculous thing is on cable TV
4. sleeping in a little*
5. getting to see good friends

*theoretical. Also, for "sleeping in" on a road trip, please read "sleeping past 6."

Five Things that Don't Suck, Poetry Road Trip Edition

Friends, I'm going to be traveling for a few days, so posts may be delayed or nonexistent. I'm sure you can handle the disappointment. 

1. Pittsburgh
2. going to see poets
3. talking to poets
4. wine with poets*
5. road trips

*it's the best kind of wine

Five Things that Don't Suck, Veterans Day Edition

1. veterans
2. being able to be grateful for what they've done whether or not you approve of the situations in which they were asked to do it
3. coming home
4. being come home to
5. knowing there's no apostrophe in "veterans"

Five Things that Don't Suck, What Day Is It Again? Edition

1. uninterrupted sleep*
2. being okay with not being able to think of anything after #1 because #1 sounds so damn good
3. knowing that the students will get me awake and engaged
4. the possibility of an afternoon nap, shimmering like an oasis in the distance
5. camels

*I remember something like that happening once, in the Before Time. In the Long Long Ago.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Back At It Edition

1. students who gives some notice when canceling appointments
2. caffeine
3. something approaching a normal schedule, maybe
4. getting my proverbial act together
5. hope

Five Things that Don't Suck, Thoughtful Friends Edition

1. pictures of red maples putting on their full November show
2. notes
3. cards
4. how funny people can be
5. love and love and love

Five Things that Don't Suck, Warm November Edition

1. not wanting to jinx anything about this winter by talking about how warm it is now
2. how warm it is now, though. Seriously.
3. bees flying around, all happy and stuff
4. iced coffee
5. a little moisture in the air

Five Things that Don't Suck, Just for Clancy Edition*

1. Clancy
2. Zazz
3. The Farm
4. Betty's Kitchen
5. the PPP

*sorry, everyone who isn't Clancy, but she needs it

Five Things that Don't Suck, Purely Theoretical Edition

1. getting ahead of the class-prep game
2. getting the house clean
3. getting my workout in
4. having a quiet, relaxed evening
5. sleeping really well tonight and waking rested tomorrow

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Wednesday Edition

1. hanging out with family, no matter the reason
2. coffee
3. my adorable Bride of Frankenstein coffee cup*
4. getting in a quick run if I can
5. (because there might be) Munchkins (in the house right now)

*

Five Things that Don't Suck, Balmy Tuesday Edition

1. putting off winter a little longer
2. enjoying both of my Tuesday classes
3. weekly phone calls with the folks
4. being in the middle of a really good book
5. cleaning the house this afternoon*

*???

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Monday Edition

1. the pearl earrings Turquoise left me
2. maps
3. sticky notes
4. a really good cup of coffee
5. Milky Way bars

Five Things that Don't Suck, Trying to Make the Most of Falling Back Edition

1. Jed getting to sleep in (from his point of view) while still waking up at a reasonable hour (from mine)
2. not waking up in the dark tomorrow
3. the fact that March isn't THAT far away, I guess
4. me being able to sleep a little better than I used to, so at least I wasn't up at 5 this morning
5. um...that March thing again? No? Um...leaves? Something?

Five Things that Don't Suck, Halloween Edition

1. Vincent Price's voice
2. not having to hear The Monster Mash again until next October
3. little kids in adorable costumes
4. the sound autumn leaves make when you walk through them
5. tiny candy bars

Five Things that Don't Suck, Late-October Friday Edition

1. spending a brief amount of time in quiet reflection on the question of where the hell August went, much less September and October
2. eating tiny candy bars*
3. short days on campus
4. the prospect of reading a good book for pleasure this weekend for the first time this semester
5. autumn leaves

*in moderation, people

Five Things that Don't Suck, Rainy, Rainy, Rainy Thursday Edition

1. rain in a time of drought
2. how warm it is out there
3. how good my hair looks when it's humid*
4. that little bit of ache in my legs that tells me I ran yesterday
5. having all of my grading and prep done before the weekend**

*no lie
**theoretical

Five Things that Don't Suck, Off-Campus Wednesday Edition

1. the ridiculous stickers I bought to put on my students' papers, because what college sophomores and juniors don't want a sticker that says "GOOD JOB!" or one with an apple balanced on top of a stack of books?*
2. getting a run in before going out to dinner with Jed
3. going out to dinner with Jed
4. making some cards because I'm not writing right now
5. sleeping well past 6:30**

*or BOTH?
**the very best part of off-campus days if you ask me

Five Things that Don't Suck, Printmaking Tuesday Edition

1. making prints instead of, say, reading papers
2. okay, fine, reading papers, too*
3. thinking about Christmas card designs
4. magically knowing how to hand-letter**
5. being creative even when I'm not writing

*especially from this class, which is a really good one
**theoretical

Five Things that Don't Suck, Wow--6:30 Sure Does Come Early on Mondays Doesn't It Edition

1. the relative quiet of the early morning walk with the dogs
2. having as much as possible set up the night before so I don't have to think too much
3. dishwashers
4. knowing I'll get to see great students today
5. naps

Five Things that Don't Suck, Tucking in the Bees for the Season Edition

1. making sure everyone is okay
2. maybe giving them some food
3. the very slight possibility of getting a little honey this year*
4. trying not to worry about them all winter
5. that feeling during a January thaw when they all come out and stretch their wings for a little bit

*very slight, sadly

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Saturday Edition

1. big sweatshirts
2. warm socks
3. good books
4. coffee
5. how this list isn't so much a "random Saturday" list as a "pretty much every Saturday in the cold months" list

Five Things that Don't Suck, Truly Random Friday Edition

1. snail mail
2. eyeliner
3. garlic
4. having an esophagus
5. the way "esophagus" always makes me think of "Snuffleupagus"

Five Things that Don't Suck, 21st Anniversary Edition

1. see yesterday's post, only applied to marriage instead of dating
2. music
3. quiet dinners at home
4. a well-built life
5. gratitude

Five Things that Don't Suck, 300th Monthaversary Edition

1. being together for 25 years
2. keeping our own time
3. marking our own milestones
4. getting married the day after our 48th monthaversary
5. neologisms

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Tuesday Edition

1. cinnamon
2. how unkillable mint is
3. the bracelet I'm wearing today
4. signing a book contract*
5. Sudafed

*which I totally did yesterday and which deserves its own post but whatever

Five Things that Don't Suck, Brrrrrrr Edition

1. when Jed leaves his cozy warm fleece jacket readily available for me to use on the early-morning dog walk
2. wait a second was that frost???  crisp fall air
3. having wood pellets delivered tomorrow
4. the myriad ways in which that is not a moment too soon
5. not quite needing to put on socks yet*

*or at least the denial regarding said need

Five Things that Don't Suck, I Keep Forgetting to Post So Take What You Can Get Edition

1. um...remembering to post?
2. being pretty damn content
3. occasional bouts of laziness
4. especially if said bouts come with cups of coffee and maybe a cookie
5. bigfoot

Five Things that Don't Suck, Short-Week Friday Edition

1. going to bed without an alarm set tonight
2. how all my lists lately only really seem to need one item
3. a relatively easy day today
4. maybe doing some writing again sometime soon
5. warm, fuzzy (volunteer) footrest dogs

Five Things that Don't Suck, Belated Thursday Edition

1. realizing at any point in the day that I forgot to make a FTTDS list this morning
2. being in a place where I don't really find the daily lists necessary
3. writing them anyway
4. how really, really pretty the leaves are this time of year
5. the way the light slants and warms in the afternoon

Five Things that Don't Suck, NH Reading Edition

1. me, reading with Sara Biggs Chaney at the Water Street Bookstore in Exeter, NH tonight*
2. getting to actually meet the Notorious SBC in person even though it feels like I already have
3. the magical ways in which I'm going to accomplish everything I need to get done between now and when I leave for NH this afternoon
4. dinner with Clancy and Mark afterwards**
5. hugs. Because oh yes, there will be hugging

*details HERE
*hi again, Clancy!

Five Things that Don't Suck, Actually Home Edition

1. sleeping late
2. not having to be back on campus until Thursday
3. not really needing 3 more things that don't suck
4. getting to see Clancy tomorrow*
5. coffee. Lots and lots of coffee

*Hi, Clancy!

Five Things that Don't Suck, Homecoming Edition

1. my own bed
2. sleeping in it
3. still being on October break
4. getting caught up
5. sleepy, sleepy dogs

Five Things that Don't Suck On the Road Edition

Friends, I'll be traveling for a few days. I've lined up a post or two, but there might be a couple of days where things that don't suck go without being listed. It will all be okay. Things still won't suck. I promise.

1. EZ Pass
2. ginger ale
3. getting on the road before anyone else is up
4. when the dogs don't know about the luggage*
5. road tunes

*sadly, this is theoretical for this trip

Five Things that Don't Suck, Tuesday Is My Friday Edition

1. road trips
2. POET road trips
3. to see people who have been so supportive of Dead Man's Float and all my other work that I can't wait to thank them
4. AND to see family I love
5. the four-dog circus that will ensue

Five Things that Don't Suck, Book Book BOOK BOOK BOOK Edition

1. having the book I wrote for Turquoise picked up by a publisher
2. on Turqi's birthday
3. withdrawing the ms. from other publishers
4. how happy I am that it's found this particular home
5. losing sleep for all the best reasons

Five Things that Don't Suck Here Comes the Sun Edition

1. how happy the birds sound
2. the charity road racers who get to run in today's weather instead of yesterday's
3. checking on the bees
4. getting what may be the last few days of warm weather before I start talking full-time about how things like socks and sweaters don't suck
5. getting a bit of rain before autumn really sets in

Five Things that Don't Suck, Cool Weekend Edition

1. snuggling
2. sweaters
3. cocoa
4. catching up on writing reviews*
5. movie night at home with the dogs**


*theoretical
**and popcorn***
***and, you know. Jed.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Stormy Friday Morning Edition

1. the occasional appointment cancellation
2. time for a little coffee*
3. and to finish the last of my grading before the weekend
4. funny emails from relatives
5. maybe not drowning in a downpour today

*in my office

Five Things that Don't Suck, Countdown Edition

1. being less than a week away from seeing a bunch of my favorite people
2. doing some poetry stuff
3. having surprises
4. slumber parties
5. a large number of large, sweet dogs

Five Things that Don't Suck, New Appliances Edition

1. a new stove
2. a new dishwasher
3. really nice delivery guys
4. being done with the busiest part of my day at 9:30
5. shiny things

Five Things that Don't Suck, Sleepy Tuesday Edition

1. sleeping
2. my bed
3. blankets
4. a nice, comfy pillow or two
5. not snoring because I am a lady

Five Things that Don't Suck, Disappearing Moon Edition

1. how small we are
2. how fast we're moving
3. how slow it can seem
4. people stopping to have a conversation about the moon like it's 1756 or something
5. strange beauty

Five Things that Don't Suck, Good Poetry News Edition

1. the fact that I can't just say "Good News Edition" on a Sunday, because of the Good News Bible
2. having dancing girl press pick up my third chapbook*
3. finding out what other fine poets are going to have work at dgp in the coming year
4. working with Kristy Bowen again
5. writing new poems

*you can get my first chapbook, Dear Turquoise, here; and my second chapbook, Creature Feature, here

Five Things that Don't Suck, Hanging Out With Poets Edition

1. talking about poetry
2. foul, foul language
3. foul language about poetry
4. stories about other poets, some of which involve foul language
5. waking up the next day and starting a poem*

*foul language optional

Five Things that Don't Suck, Friday Morning Edition

1. Clancy's coming--again!*
2. having a little time before my first student arrives
3. the easy availability of coffee on campus
4. coffee in general
5. short work days right before the weekend

*Hi, Clancy!

Five Things that Don't Suck, Lazy Thursday Edition

1. getting a little extra time to hang out this morning before I have to go to campus
2. the fact that this extra time comes on a day when I have to stay a couple of hours later than usual
3. long talks with good friends
4. clean sheets
5. cup holders

Five Things that Don't Suck, Belated Wednesday Edition

1. remembering, eventually, to post a FTTDS list
2. having a good enough day that it's okay that it's late because why not?
3. being late*
4. bunnies
5. soup

*okay, that generally sucks, but whatever. NOT THIS TIME.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Tuesday Edition

1. talking to my folks, who are bound to say something funny
2. being caught up, grading-wise*
3. warm days and cool nights
4. quilts
5. not being ready to start listing things like quilts and socks but being okay with doing it anyway

*until tomorrow afternoon, anyway

Five Things that Don't Suck, Chilly Morning Edition

1. sticking firm in my decision to stay with iced coffee until I need to turn the heat on
2. the occasional over-shirt
3. wearing flats instead of sandals, maybe?
4. blueberry bread left over from yesterday
5. maybe getting a review drafted

Five Things that Don't Suck, Printmaking Edition

1. ink
2. paper
3. not really knowing how something is going to look until it happens
4. how every print is a little different
5. using different parts of your brain

Five Things that Don't Suck, Quiet Weekend Edition

1. clean house
2. nowhere to be
3. lots to read
4. a couple of sleepy dogs
5. a sleepy Jed

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Friday Edition

1. morning dew
2. fairy lights
3. the fact that tonight is the best going-to-sleep night of my whole week*
4. the last, melancholy days of iced coffee weather**
5. thistle

*because I have two days ahead of me where I don't have to wake up to an alarm

**I know, I know. There are people out there who are going to say, "But you can have iced coffee any time! You put ice in other drinks when it's cold out, don't you?" No. No, I do not. You have your pumpkin spice whatever; I have my changeover to hot coffee. Mark the season however you'd like.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Dogs with Issues Edition

1. Butler having a dad who will sit on the floor and pet him when they're both having a tough day
2. Gracie having a mom who will take her out twice in a row because it's hard for a lady to get down to business when a big black greyhound is tugging at her and getting in her way and such
3. singing to Butler to help him settle
4. the fact that my singing to Butler helps him settle
5. belly rubs

Five Things that Don't Suck, Off-Campus Wednesday Edition

1. thinking about road trips, whether or not there are any on the schedule
2. getting lost on Google maps for a while, looking at road trips through, say, Italy
3. Italy
4. remembering that I froze some leftover waffles a few weeks ago and they are available for breakfast today*
5. being a poet for as much of the day as I want to

*well, they WERE, anyway

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Tuesday Edition

1. being able to type
2. the letter "f"
3. all the other letters, really
4. that time I threw a cloth napkin and knocked a fly out of the air and then did the exact same thing 10 minutes later with a dishcloth and a different fly*
5. a solid night of sleep

*try that with a paper napkin or a sponge. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Five Things that Don't Suck, No-Class On-Campus Day Edition

1. meeting with students
2. getting caught up with prep and paper work
3. maybe having time to work on a blurb or two that I owe people
4. and that Massachusetts Cultural Council application that's due in a couple of weeks
5. being done by 1 and ready to full-time poet again

Five Things that Don't Suck, Rainy Sunday Edition

1. a clean house
2. leftover cake in the kitchen
3. no real plans
4. a couple of sleeping dogs
5. the opportunity for a nap later

Five Things that Don't Suck, Poet Visit Edition

1. poets
2. when they visit
3. how smart they are
4. and how good to talk with
5. cake

Five Things that Don't Suck, How to Make it Better Edition

1. create meaningful cross-cultural dialog
2. understand that your experience is not THE universal experience
3. show respect for differences
4. remove the word "tolerance" from your vocabulary and replace it with "acceptance"
5  more hugs*

*I mean it. One extra hug a day. Do it.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Poet-Professor Edition

1. balance
2. the way that balance is a thing that exists
3. totally knowing how to find that balance
4. and how to hold that balance
5. and the occasional round of fooling oneself

Five Things that Don't Suck, National Suicide Prevention Week Edition

1. you
2. how essential you are in the world
3. how truly loved you are
4. the people who have saved me
5. this life

Five Things that Don't Suck, Professor and Poet Edition

1. maybe being able to balance this whole poet/professor thing this semester
2. writing some poems over the weekend
3. being ready for class today
4. office hours
5. a gradual ramp-up for the semester

Five Things that Don't Suck, Long Weekend Edition

1. having time to hang out with Jed
2. and make some art
3. and draft a poem
4. and get working on some blurbs I owe to friends for their new books (!!)
5. and sit with the bees

A Poem that Doesn't Suck

I have a poem up at Clementine Poetry Journal. It's so fresh it still has that new poem smell, but it won't lose half its value the second you drive it off the lot. Check it out if you'd like.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Except for the Poor Spiders Edition

1. running a vacuum in all the corners
2. sucking up the chihuahuas of dog hair that have been tumbleweeding their way through the house
3. hunting down that web on the stairs
4. not seeing some kind of thin, shining thread in a new place every time the light changes
5. giving some of the flies and moths a fighting chance

Five Things that Don't Suck, Biting Off More than I Can Chew Edition

1. friends who think I can find humor in anything
2. the pressure to be creative
3. deciding external pressure is a stupid reason for doing anything
4. not having to be at the kind of meeting where I have to vote on whether we're going to take a vote or not*
5. the unanimous** vote to not think about meetings at all for the next three days, minimum

*I wish the knowledge of how much not being at one of those meetings doesn't suck were theoretical, but, alas, 'tis not.

**One of one in favor

Five Things that Don't Suck, Knowing Your Audience Edition

1. knowing your audience
2. valuing those readers
3. respecting them as readers
4. allowing their value of your work to have meaning
5. putting the work first

Five Things that Don't Suck, Theoretical Travel Plans Edition

1. road trips
2. emailing a friend to say, "If this happens, can I crash with you?"
3. the enthusiasm of the yes
4. and the speed
5. planning a route I don't even know if I need

Bonus: An Interview and a Poem, Neither of Which Suck

Hi all,

First off, the lovely Nicole Rollender posted this interview with me at her blog Carpe Noctem. Show her a little love, why don't you? It's the first chapbook interview she's posted, and I'm happy to be a part of it.

Second, Lumen has posted my poem "Judas" in their most recent issue. Take a look if you're so inclined.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Off-Campus Wednesday Edition

1. throwing my regular campus schedule for a loop once in a while*
2. not having any grading to do yet
3. thinking about making some art
4. or working on some poems
5. or taking a long walk

*perhaps inconvenient, but it keeps me on my toes

Five Things that Don't Suck, Back on Campus Edition

1. how pretty Peacock Pond is
2. seeing students again
3. how much hugging will be going on*
4. being reasonably sure I haven't forgotten anything major
5. new students

*not just with me--Wheaton is a huggy campus. There will be a LOT of hugging

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last Day of Summer Break Edition

1. no alarm in the morning
2. a slow, relaxed breakfast
3. that second glass of iced coffee
4. working on my own projects, on my own time
5. knowing how much I love my job, because I do

Five Things that Don't Suck, Jed's Birthday Edition

1. the planet, what with Jed having been on it for 50 years and all
2. beards
3. bees
4. gentle souls and big hearts
5. Jed

Five Things that Don't Suck, Celebration Edition

1. helicopter rides
2. hanging out with family*
3. movies
4. root beer floats
5. dogs

*not hanging out of the helicopter. Just regulation-type hanging out

Five Things that Don't Suck, Superhero Edition

1. choosing whether or not to wear a cape
2. having a secret identity
3. or not
4. secret hideouts*
5. maybe going with the cape for cooler weather but a cleaner, more pared-down look for summer

*not to be confused with lairs, which is what the villains have and they are BAD

Five Things that Don't Suck, Hear Me Roar (Theoretically) Edition

1. going to bed with the realization that if I was a force to be reckoned with when I was broken, I am unstoppable now
2. not actually making a RAAAAAR sound, because it was late, but thinking about it. Oh yes. Thinking about it.
3. finally understanding how this works
4. the physicality of that understanding
5. advocacy

Five Things that Don't Suck, Pedicure Day Edition

1. hanging out with one of my four favorite sisters-in-law
2. choosing purple
3. choosing pink
4. or maybe something in a red
5. and how only #1 is really important

Five Things that Don't Suck, Office Supplies Edition

1. binder clips
2. paper clips
3. a new pack of pens*
4. sticky notes
5. a good bag to hold them all

*Uni-ball Vision Elite in bold, but you do you

Five Things that Don't Suck, Lunch with Nan Edition

1. the possibility of calamari
2. a really long talk in a sun room*
3. the fact that everyone who knows us knows we're getting dessert
4. the fact that many of the people who know us will be envious
5. how they are welcome to join us any time

*even if it is raining, which it is

Five Things that Don't Suck, Slow Sunday Edition

1. the promise of a little rain
2. reading
3. a clean house*
4. the realization that I don't have to grade papers for 101 this coming semester
5. being almost ready for campus. Almost.

*so totally theoretical it's borderline hilarious

Five Things that Don't Suck, Big Week Ahead Edition

1. pedicures with one of my 3 favorite sisters-in-law (hi, Mooge!)
2. lunch with Nan (hi, Nan!)
3. lunch with Julie (hi, Julie!)
4. ignoring the impending syllabus work
5. denial

Five Things that Don't Suck, Rainy Friday Edition

1. finally getting some much-needed rain
2. the hopes that it will knock down the ragweed a bit
3. maybe not having it actually rain all damn weekend, though
4. wondering if it's a good day for people who like to go fishing
5. not actually caring about going fishing

Two (Very Different) Interviews that Don't Suck

Hi all!

I've had two different--very different--interviews go up over the past few days, and thought I'd let you know. The first is at Donna Vorreyer's blog Put Words Together. Make Meaning. There, I fill in the blanks for some ridiculous questions. You may never look at waffle fries or Katy Perry the same way again.

And if you're into poetry, process, or monster movies, you might want to take a look at my interview at Nancy Chen Long. She asked really thoughtful, insightful questions about my chapbook Creature Feature, and I did my best to not sound like a douche while answering them. She also includes a zillion links--you could get lost in monster movie back story, if that's your thing. And why wouldn't it be?

Thanks to both Donna and Nancy for taking the time to talk to me!

Five Things that Don't Suck, Manuscript Assembly Edition

1. putting together a new manuscript
2. finding an order that might work
3. getting a draft you really like and then
4. waking up the next morning to find that your opening poem has been picked up
5. knowing how to make a table of contents in Word

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Wednesday Edition

1. thinking this morning that in 2 weeks I'll be back on campus and then realizing that I'm off campus on Wednesdays this semester
2. showers
3. keeping a schedule for getting caught up
4. having all the laundry clean*
5. that relaxed second glass of iced coffee

*and put away, people

Five Things that Don't Suck, Anti-Procrastination Edition

1. just getting the errands DONE already
2. seriously. It's just the grocery store. Go.
3. having food options in the house
4. not having to go again for another week or so
5. spending the rest of the day doing whatever you want, I promise

Five Things that Don't Suck, Poetry Fame Edition

1. This ridiculous interview at Donna Vorreyer's blog Put Words Together, Make Meaning
2. rallying the troops
3. settling in for a luxurious morning of reading manuscripts for Cider Press Review
4. poetry and poets and righteous indignation
5. having two more weeks of (almost) full-time poeting before I have to go back to campus*

*which I will also love, for the record

Five Things that Don't Suck,

1. blueberry bread
2. especially when it's still warm
3. or reheated. That's good, too
4. making enough for 3 mornings
5. eating it for 3 mornings

Five Things that Don't Suck, Another Bee Edition

1. how early the hives get busy at this time of year
2. how late the work continues
3. refilling the bird bath from my water bottle and watching the bees lift then settle back in
4. how they slow me down
5. the separate synapses of a much larger creature

Five Things that Don't Suck, Meeting New Friends Edition

1. having coffee with one of my favorite people I've never met
2. not being able to call her that anymore half an hour from now
3. latte
4. what seems to be a really gorgeous August day brewing out there
5. hugs

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Thursday Edition

1. the number of people who tell me to go visit the bees when I need some grounding
2. visiting the bees when I need grounding
3. visiting the bees when I don't need grounding
4. the way a really good song will get into your head and shut down your brain for anything else
5. harmony

Five Things that Don't Suck, After the Rains Edition

1. the clearest of blue skies
2. having a project on hand
3. iced coffee
4. only self-imposed deadlines
5. date night

Five Things that Don't Suck, Other People's Kids Edition

1. trading terrible jokes via text
2. the begrudging admission that one of them is "pretty funny"*
3. the little bong bong noise my phone makes when a text comes in
4. laughing like an idiot
5. quiet later, and poetry

*highest praise ever

Five Things that Don't Suck, Weird Long Weekend Edition

1. breakfast with Jed
2. Mondays that feel like Sundays
3. eventually having coffee*
4. getting a review written**
5. naps

*!!!
**theoretical

Five Things that Don't Suck, Lazy Sunday Edition

1. hanging out with Jed
2. hanging out with the bees
3. maybe making pizza for dinner
4. movie night
5. reading. Lots and lots of reading.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Gotta Have Friends Edition

1. friends who are occasionally willing to tell you what you want to hear as long as they make it clear they are lying to you
2. friends who shoot straight
3. and have your back
4. and hold you well
5. and love you

Five Things that Don't Suck, Comedy Friday Edition

1. nieces and nephews who text hilarious things to me
2. how proud I am of them*
3. running gags
4. when someone tells a joke and you know it's going to be a running gag
5. coping mechanisms

*for their capacity for humor, but also as human beings

Five Things that Don't Suck, Summer Thursday Edition

1. iced coffee
2. Gracie sleeping with just her face in a sunny spot
3. bees
4. tomatoes
5. cucumbers

Five Things that Don't Suck, Midweek Break Edition

1. dinner and a movie with your love
2. Swedish fish
3. waking up in the morning to find the humidity broke overnight
4. maybe finally making yourself go grocery shopping
5. skirt weather*

*it's always skirt weather

Five Things that Don't Suck, Poeting Edition

1. writing poems*
2. serial revising
3. reading things out loud
4. writing interviews with fun questions
5. writing interviews with really well thought-out questions

*So. Many. Poems

Five Things that Don't Suck, Avoiding Errands Edition

1. finally waking up feeling like yourself
2. having poet friends you love so much that coming back into the real world feels like scuba diving, even though you love your real world, too
3. grapes*
4. not going to the grocery store
5. having the option of not going to the grocery store

*theoretical, as they would require a trip to the grocery store

Five Things that Don't Suck, Sunday Morning Edition

1. getting the political into my poems in a way that feels satisfying to me
2. the balance of subtlety and heat
3. putting shame on the shoulders where it belongs
4. letting it sit there even if/when it's uncomfortable
5. my own damn voice

Five Things that Don't Suck, Right Here When I Need Them Edition

1. kittens
2. ice water*
3. bandages
4. unwinding
5. not having to make any decisions right now

*lemon optional, but preferred

Five Things that Don't Suck, Homeward Bound Edition

1. Jed
2. Butler
3. Gracie
4. my own bed
5. being in it

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last Full Day Edition

1. not talking about how it's the last full day
2. thinking, maybe a little, about my own bed
3. these people
4. those people
5. long walks in the woods

Five Things that Don't Suck, Movie Night Edition

1. monsters
2. staying up waaaaay later than the college-age kids staying here with us
3. salty crunchy snacks
4. a little wine
5. a little more wine

Five Things that Don't Suck, Here Comes that Rainy Day Feeling Again Edition

1. feeling pretty good despite the lack of a lake visit
2. sleeping like a normal person
3. movie night
4. writing some poems*
5. breakfast**

*like, lots of poems
**now, please

Five Things that Don't Suck, Up Too Late Edition

1. popcorn
2. wine
3. really good conversation
4. chatting with the night staff
5. lots and lots of water

Five Things that Don't Suck, Poet Reunion Edition

1. dinner with poets
2. ice cream with poets
3. a drink with a different, but still beloved poet
4. breakfast with poets
5. poets

Five Things that Don't Suck, Duo Road Trip Edition

1. heading to CT to see some of my favorite poets
2. having a copilot
3. sharing road snacks*
4. laughing all the way across Pennsylvania and into Jersey, New York, and Connecticut
5. poets

*unless he doesn't like Swedish fish, in which case those suckers are mine! All mine!

Five Things that Don't Suck, Thanking Heaven for Small Favors Edition

1. when the drunk kid hits the car parked behind yours, but not yours
2. not having your axle snap off
3. that the kid was only able to drive about half a block on 3 wheels before he stopped
4. only having your car bumped a tiny bit
5. friends who hang around outside at 1:30 in the morning with you while you talk to police officers

Five Things that Don't Suck, Good Morning, Pittsburgh Edition

1. seeing good friends
2. so much laughing
3. maybe getting a little bit of sleep*
4. getting a tour of the zoo from an expert
5. terrible jokes

*key words: "maybe" and "a little"

Five Things that Don't Suck, Solo Road Trip Edition

Folks, I'm going to be on the road for a while, and I never trust my internet access when I'm away. I'm setting up FTTDS lists ahead of time for my traveling days, but I make no guarantees that they'll post. And setting up 10 days' worth of lists in advance kind of defeats the purpose.

So bear with me. You might not notice a difference, or you might, but regular-ish service will resume August 1. And if you know Jed, get in touch with him this week, would you? Poor guy's gonna be lonely at home by himself.

1. EZ Pass*
2. Swedish fish**
3. listening to whatever music I want to listen to
4. or not listening to anything
5. getting to a new town and seeing new and old friends

*seriously. 
**or whatever road trip snack you want. It's YOUR road trip. You don't have to share.

Five Things that Don't Suck, My Mom's Birthday Edition

1. my mom
2. the fact that she was born
3. how her baby pictures look so much like her that she always lost the "guess which baby this is" contests at work
4. the fact that the only time I was ever airborne in a car, Dukes-of-Hazzard-style, she was the one who was driving
5. the way in which she quietly instigates comedy and then lets my dad take the credit and/or blame*

*she is WAY funnier than he is. She is.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Heat Wave Edition

1. basking
2. swimming pools
3. how I always want to follow "swimming pools" with "movie stars"
4. bees, cooling themselves on the front of the hives
5. air conditioning*

*but just a little, guys. Everything doesn't have to be 65 degrees.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Road Trip Prep Edition

1. laundry*
2. making lists
3. exchanging excited emails/texts/calls
4. luggage
5. having a clean house

*if being done in order to prepare for a road trip

Five Things that Don't Suck, Annual Mystery Edition

1. cake
2. presents
3. candles
4. cards
5. suits

Five Things that Don't Suck, Fake Book Titles* Edition

1. Uncooperative Bangs
2. Grade-A Plonk
3. Jellybean Ball Pit
4. Guest Star in the Dreams of Strangers
5. Whatever Crimes I May Have Committed, I Certainly Didn't Forget To Post This List This Morning Before I Left The House

*don't go stealing these, though, because I have dibs

Bonus: Three Poets Who Don't Suck, Pittsburgh Edition

Friends, one week from tonight, I'll be reading at Classic Lines in Pittsburgh. I'll be there with Krista Cox and Jen Stein Hauptmann (sometimes a.k.a. Jen Stein) at 7 p.m. You come, too. It's free! It's fun! It's me and some other cool poets you can hug in person!*

Classic Lines
5825 Forbes Blvd.
Pittsburgh, PA

*Please do not hug the poets without permission.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Vagaries of Joy Edition

1. being able to do some good in the world
2. people who allow you to do it
3. those rare times when you can make someone happy by your mere presence
4. full hearts
5. smiling for no apparent reason

Five Things that Don't Suck, Hot and Muggy Edition

1. the many, many ways in which it is not February
2. waking up to a house where everything feels vaguely damp from humidity and thinking, "I am so glad it's not still February"*
3. the ten-day forecast, which might as well just say, "NOT FEBRUARY"
4. the complete lack of snow on the ground here
5. not needing a sweater

*true story

Five Things that Don't Suck, Clancy and Julie Edition

1. Clancy
2. Julie
3. seeing Clancy and Julie
4. car rides with Julie to see Clancy
5. french fries*

*theoretical. But I bet there will be french fries.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Poet Problems Edition

1. waking up with a poem in your head
2. hanging onto it while you pee and get dressed
3. hanging onto it while you walk the dogs
4. when someone doesn't drive by you with "Blurred Lines" blasting out their open windows*
5. holding onto that poem all the way through your morning routine and writing it down before it gets away, thus giving the world just a little more beauty**

*theoretical. Very, very theoretical.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Secret-Keeping Edition

1. being able to keep secrets*
2. being excited about the aforementioned secrets
3. the word "aforementioned"
4. assuming the secrets involve gifts of some sort, pulling out those gifts on a regular basis and chortling gleefully over them
5. also perhaps doing a small amount of self-satisfied clapping

*theoretical

Five Things that Don't Suck, Full-Time Poet Edition

1. talking poetry with poets
2. or any kind of writing with any kind of writer, actually
3. having some poems arrive again
4. that feeling when my mind is constantly somewhere else*
5. line breaks

*that's poems, my friends. They just take over. It's great while it lasts

Five Things that Don't Suck, Cool July Mornings Edition

1. waking up just a little chilly
2. having a solid night's sleep
3. dew
4. those couple of hours before everything starts boiling again
5. when "chilly" means "around 70" and not "around 30"

Five Things that Don't Suck, Late to the Movies Edition

1. finally getting to see Mad Max: Fury Road*
2. the existence of an action film which does not include a single helpless female character**
3. flaming guitars
4. those boingy stick things with dudes riding them
5. curly fries

*sometimes we wait for something to come to the cinema pub. Sometimes we regret that we waited.
**unless you count the unwashed masses, but those aren't "characters" so much as "extras" in this sense

Five Things that Don't Suck, Super-Spy Surprise-Making Edition

1. chicanery
2. deceit
3. general sneakiness
4. trickery
5. duplicity

Five Things that Don't Suck, SAY IT! Edition

1. dim mornings
2. crossing things off the to-do list
3. after a healthy, relaxed breakfast
4. anticipation
5. how I really wanted to write that like this:

4. antici...
5. pation

but didn't know what percentage of my 3 readers would get the joke*

*or would think I stole it. Which I did. But referentially, not in a plagiaristic sort of way

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Monday Edition

1. having groceries in the house
2. going for a quick run
3. or a slow one
4. finding honeybees when I'm out for a walk
5. reading

Five Things that Don't Suck, Still the Weekend Edition

1. going for a long swim
2. reading some poems
3. writing a poem, maybe?
4. getting laundry done*
5. being ready for the world cup final tonight

*doing laundry might seem like it sucks, but getting arrested for going grocery shopping naked because you have run out of clothes sucks even more**
**theoretically

Five Things that Don't Suck, Independence Day Edition

1. that "Fireworks" song from Schoolhouse Rock
2. fireworks*
3. hanging out with friends we don't get to see enough
4. hanging out with friends we get to see on a pretty regular basis
5. whatever will scrub that "Fireworks" song from Schoolhouse Rock out of my head by tomorrow

*where safe and legal

Five Things that Don't Suck, Long Weekend Edition

1. getting some stuff done
2. still having time to relax and hang out
3. seeing good friends
4. how beautifully the weather has cleared
5. dogs who aren't afraid of fireworks

Five Things that Don't Suck, Planning for CT Edition

1. getting the email with all the logistical stuff in it
2. reading the poems again
3. knowing that in just over 3 weeks there will be a LOT of hugging*
4. getting presentations ready
5. that vague sense of excitement**

*A LOT.
**that might be panic about everything I have to do. But I'm an optimist.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Thundering Wednesday Edition

1. not really knowing what day it is until someone tells you
2. thunderstorms
3. dogs that don't particularly feel like wandering all over town in the pouring rain
4. a really good haircut
5. the delayed gratification of the 2nd glass of iced coffee

Five Things that Don't Suck, When the Sun Comes Out Edition

1. being able to see the bees' flight path from my living room
2. the hope that maybe the lawn will dry enough for mowing
3. blue skies, smiling at me
4. long walks with the dogs
5. stocking up on that vitamin D

Five Things that Don't Suck, Stuck on Band Aids Edition

1. not being able to reliably hit the "g" key*
2. being a grownup and thus in charge of the money and thus able to buy Hello Kitty Band Aids if that's what you want to do**
3. also being able to choose from Toy Story or Phineas and Ferb Band Aids***
4. how much more fun hangnails can be
5. wondering if I am the only person to ever put the words "fun" and "hangnails" together like that****

*this was almost a five thins that don't suck list
**TL;DR: reversing your deprived childhood
***Jed is not a big fan of the Hello Kitty ones. Who knew.
****don't Google that. Let a girl have her dreams

Five Things that Don't Suck, Almost Forgot Edition

1. the way your mind starts slipping as you get older*
2. memorizing poems for July**
3. the way that practice may or may not make perfect
4. declamation
5. iambic pentameter***

*fun! Challenging! Or something
**just 'cause you can
***the joys of which cannot be fully appreciated until it comes time to memorize a poem that isn't metered

Five Things that Don't Suck, I Must Go Down to the Sea Again Edition

1. the constant arguments at the beach house over whether "go" was originally included in that line or not
2. cribbage
3. blatant cheating at cribbage
4. long walks on the beach at night
5. coming home soaked

Five Things that Don't Suck, Slightly Damp Friday Edition

1. not being that guy who's attempting to use a weed whacker in the rain*
2. understanding my limits
3. thinking about gifts and how to make them
4. how far a little rain goes in perking up the flowers
5. getting the pollen rinsed from my car

*give it up, that guy. It's not gonna happen today.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Ladies Who Lunch Edition

1. seeing my friend Nan for lunch
2. being down by the water
3. long talks
4. hanging out with poets
5. the best dessert for miles around*

*not a euphemism. The Shelter Harbor Inn makes the best damn desserts

Five Things that Don't Suck, Calm After the Storm Edition

1. not blowing away in a tornado or something last night
2. the bees remaining happy
3. and their hives remaining intact
4. sunshine and clear skies
5. ice water with a sprig of mint

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Tuesday Edition

1. writing some reviews
2. reading some poems
3. smooching dogs on the head when they least expect it*
4. watching the bees take off from and land at the hive
5. saddlebags of pollen**

*know your dog well before attempting such a move (mine like it; your mileage may vary and don't come crying to me if a dog bites your nose off)

**they're actually called "pollen baskets," but they make the bees look like they're wearing saddlebags

Five Things that Don't Suck, Time Travel Edition

1. buying Microsoft reeaaaallly early
2. egg creams
3. not being tethered to anything electronic
4. radio shows
5. maybe buying Apple, too, because you realize the importance of a balanced portfolio

Five Things that Don't Suck, Father's Day Edition

1. the way I will use trickery to make you forget I didn't post a FTTDS list yesterday because Dads! Yay, dads!
2. not feeling the need to golf
3. English Leather
4. all the dads who do what they're supposed to do
5. all my surrogate dads

Five Things that Don't Suck, Not Running Late Edition

1. not violating the speed limit in any way
2. feeling relaxed and calm as I make my way to campus
3. not sweating from running across campus
4. having a soothing start to the day
5. bahahahahahahaha

Five Things that Don't Suck, Punctuation Edition

1. semicolons*
2. asterisks***
3. the Oxford comma
4. commas that don't have schmancy British degrees
5. inverted exclamation points

*No. they don't. No, they don't. Just because you never learned to use them properly** doesn't mean they suck
**Unless you DID learn to use them properly, in which case yay, you! But they still don't suck
***clearly. Although they might not technically be punctuation. I'll have to look that up

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Wednesday Edition

1. cinnamon
2. sunny spots on the floor
3. dogs in the aforementioned sunny spots
4. the word "aforementioned"
5. jasmine

Five Things that Don't Suck, Second Rainy Day in a Row Edition

1. the grass getting a nice long drink
2. being unable to mow the lawn
3. refilling the water supply a little bit
4. long skirts
5. not having to shave

Five Things that Don't Suck, Rainy Days and Mondays Edition

1. being able to use that edition title on any rainy Monday I want because it's my blog and you are not the boss of me
2. you not being the boss of me
3. my actual boss
4. the fact that nobody seems to "Boss!" as an interjection or as a synonym for "cool" anymore*
5. how this list does not actually have very much to do with rainy days or Mondays at all**

*i.e. "That is a boss BMX bike!"
**see above in re: it being my blog and you not being the boss of me

Five Things that Don't Suck, Hard Day at the Online Office Edition

1. integrity
2. calm
3. ethics
4. respect
5. maturity

Five Things that Don't Suck, Creature Feature Edition

1. the day the box of chapbooks arrives
2. signing them
3. putting them in envelopes
4. sending them out into the world
5. that cover, man

Five Things that Don't Suck, Friday Edition

1. long talks with good friends
2. planning road trips
3. causing trouble
4. working on projects I love
5. GPS

New Chapbook: Creature Feature

Oh, loyal half-dozen readers, I keep forgetting to tell you that my newest chapbook is out. It's the first in a new series of chaps from the good people at ELJ publications. You can get it straight from me (signed) for the same price/shipping that they're offering. Or you can buy it directly from them. Here's a link to the "about" page, where you can read a little bit about it.

It's all about those early black and white monster movies, but there's nothing scary about it. And isn't the cover fabulous?

I think it is. But then, I woke up with hair pretty similar to that this morning, so maybe I'm biased.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Poet Edition

1. when the dining room table is covered with poems
2. ordering a manuscript
3. revisions
4. making hundreds of little choices
5. possibly doing it all again later

Five Things that Don't Suck, Nautical Terms Edition

1. luff and touch her
2. asylum harbor
3. baggywrinkle
4. devil seam
5. futtocks

Five Things that Don't Suck, Summer Day on Campus Edition

1. how quiet campus is after the students go home
2. hanging out in my office
3. kicking ass
4. taking names
5. not going back until Sunday

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Monday Edition

1. trail mix
2. books about insects
3. jasmine
4. wallabies
5. sunroofs

Five Things that Don't Suck, Slow Sunday Morning Edition

1. friends who move Friday Night Dinner to Saturday night so we can see them
2. coming home to rhododendrons in full bloom
3. mornings cool enough that Gracie wants to lie in the sunny spot for a while
4. thinking about poetry again
5. some time to read

Five Things That Don't Suck, Home Sweet Home Edition

1. when the dogs are just as tired as you are, so everybody sleeps and sleeps and sleeps
2. wondering about the correct spelling of "jiggity jig"
3. only having "settling in" stuff on the agenda for the next couple of days
4. settling in
5. iced coffee

Five Things that Don't Suck, Almost Home Edition

1. New England
2. the Northeast in general
3. sleeping in your own bed
4. with your own pillows
5. for a very long time, if possible

Five Things that Don't Suck, Back on the Road Edition

Note: We're on our way back to MA for the next couple of days (thanks, housesitters!), so I'm setting this up to post on a schedule. If something goes wrong, I'm not doing anything about it. Yay vacation! I don't care!

1. road music
2. coffee
3. the delicate balance between keeping hydrated and needing to stop for a pee
4. cell phones
5. speculating about buying airstream trailers

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last Day in Florida Edition

1. afternoon thunderstorms
2. how well the dogs all get along
3. a quiet dinner with my folks
4. having this whole road trip thing down
5. e-books

Five Things that Don't Suck, Horrified by The Today Show Edition

1. not having a mom who put broccoli in my pancakes
2. ice pops that don't have spinach in them
3. kale chips
4. actually liking vegetables
5. not being called The Veggie Whisperer

Five Things that Don't Suck, Still on Vacation Edition

1. whichever parent closed the door to our room this morning, leaving the dogs in the living room so we could catch some sleep
2. having all the poems for my week in CT ready to go
3. that week in CT
4. vacation
5. ice cream

Five Things that Don't Suck, Kinda Damp Sunday Edition

1. cool, wet grass
2. when the dogs race around the back yard
3. sleeping until almost 7
4. coffee
5. starting a new book

Five Things that Don't Suck, Relaxed Saturday Edition

1. not having any plans until noon
2. taking a cool shower
3. sundresses
4. slippers
5. a really good book*

*Kent Haruf's Benediction, in case you're wondering

Five Things that Don't Suck, Turquoise Taylor Grant Edition

1. music
2. comedy
3. talent
4. love
5. how after 3 years it's easier to think of these things

Five Things that Don't Suck, Family Time Edition

1. how hilarious my parents are
2. ice water with a slice of lemon
3. Jed being able to sleep in
4. a cool shower on a hot day
5. when every day is a hot day

Five Things that Don't Suck, Mid-Road-Trip Edition

1. having a short rum and ginger in the hotel room after a day of driving
2. getting up and out early
3. when the dogs get to play with their friend Moussie again
4. french fries
5. having a really good navigator

Five Things that Don't Suck, Hitting the Road Edition

Hey all--I'm hitting the road early Tuesday morning and will be driving for 2 days. Don't break into my house while I'm gone--I've got a house sitter AND very observant neighbors. Anyway, I'm setting up a couple of lists to post while I'm on the road, but let this serve as warning that the FTTDS lists might be a little spotty for the next couple of weeks. I'm all for the occasional pre-written list, but writing too many of them in advance kinda misses the point of doing them at all, you know? 

1. house sitters
2. road trips
3. getting to see my folks
4. being able to pre-schedule blog posts
5. how good the dogs are in the car

Five Things that Don't Suck, Memorial Day Edition

1. taking time to remember
2. working toward peace
3. understanding that remembering doesn't have to be sad or maudlin
4. the occasional scoop of potato salad
5. summer kick-off

Five Things that Don't Suck, Preparations Edition

1. crossing things off that to-do list
2. crossing things that Jed does off the to-do list*
3. still having time for a nap
4. fixing my morning allergy throat with a bit of honey from our own bees
5. blossoms, blossoms everywhere

*yay, Jed! 

Five Things that Don't Suck, Long Weekend Edition

1. blueberry muffins in the oven*
2. having a long to-do list of good stuff
3. when Jed gets up with the dogs so I don't have to be up and dressed first thing
4. basil
5. are those muffins ready yet?

*and when they are in my belly that won't suck either

Five Things that Don't Suck, Up Early on a Friday Edition

1. being up and around before the bees
2. the very tight, very purple buds on the rhododendron*
3. poets helping poets
4. the sunroof
5. the sun

*the blooms will be paler, which I don't like as much, but they still won't suck

Five Things that Don't Suck, Spring Weather Edition

1. lilies starting to bloom
2. buds all over the rhododendrons
3. the way you can smell lilacs before you can figure out where they are
4. wisteria
5. happy bees

Five Things that Don't Suck, I Keep Forgetting to Name My Editions Edition

1. Minerva
2. Polly
3. Louise
4. Beatrix
5. Helen

There. Now when I forget to name an edition, you can just apply one of these. Or one of your choice. It's all good.

Five Things that Don't Suck

1. emails from people I've never met, saying nice things about my poems
2. the way this rain is washing all those nasty inchworms out of the trees
3. having lunch with a couple of sistas
4. how soft the dogs will be after they dry off
5. getting a little pollen out of the air

Three More Poems that Don't Suck

Three poems are up this evening at The The Infoxicated Corner. You can even hear me if you want to, because I made recordings.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Half-Day on Campus Edition

1. seeing people I like
2. trading in some library books
3. not having to be there until noon
4. how quiet campus is in the summer
5. getting some poetry work done before I go

Five Things that Don't Suck

1. baby birds who freak out when their mom or dad shows up with food
2. getting some more writing done
3. neighbors who spoil the dogs
4. when spring green starts turning to summer green
5. ice cream

Five Things that Don't Suck, Saturday Edition

1. getting the new bees settled in their new hive
2. blueberry muffins
3. selling five copies of my chapbook overnight*
4. thinking about art
5. thinking about poetry

*it hasn't even been released yet

Five Things that Don't Suck, Sunny Friday Edition

1. Figuring out how to paint adorable crowns on the beehives
2. adorable crowns
3. leisurely breakfasts
4. long walks
5. figuring out some poet stuff

Five Things that Don't Suck, Allergy-Related Vertigo Edition

1. staying in bed in the morning while Jed walks the dogs
2. the Tilt-A-Whirl*
3. Sudafed
4. the possibility of having an incomplete theme
5. being okay with it

*when the ride is voluntary

Bonus: Three poems up at Front Porch

Three of my poems have hit the web at Front Porch. It's a pretty good week, my friends.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Almost-Full-Time-Poeting Edition

1. when a journal picks up a poem
2. when a reader picks up a journal
3. how quickly that whole chapbook thing is moving
4. reading
5. writing*

*theoretical

Five Things that Don't Suck, Good News Edition

1. getting a chapbook publication offer from ELJ Publications
2. how fast it came
3. getting a proof the next day
4. the fact that someone else loves my weird little monster movie poems
5. the weird little monster movies themselves

FTTDS Skipped the Whole Weekend Edition (Whoops)

1. being so busy with cool stuff that I just kinda...forget
2. not being able to remember what things I've put on FTTDS lists recently but being pretty sure they're about bees and poetry and being on summer break
3. being too lazy to look because I'm on summer break
4. getting some more Metamorphoses sonnets picked up*
5. having a whole week ahead of me with no campus work

*links soon!

Five Things that Don't Suck, I Keep Forgetting to Write a FTTDS List Today Edition

1. hilarious friends
2. hilarious relatives
3. hilarious people in general
4. naps
5. Q-tips

Five Things that Don't Suck, It's a Dog's Life Edition

1. when the sunny spot from the window hits your bed just right
2. cheese
3. visitors who are willing to pet you
4. especially when they call you good names like "sweetie" or "buddy"
5. cheese. And not knowing how to count. And cheese

Five Things that Don't Suck, Okay, I Won't Talk About Summer Break Anymore Edition

1. random times during the year when I do not have to be on campus
2. various seasons during which I do not grade
3. any day on which I can sit and watch the bees for a while at any given point in the day
4. iced coffee, which I enjoy anytime between, say, April and October, so definitely not just in the hot months
5. any day where I don't have to use an alarm clock

Five Things that Don't Suck, Not Quite Random Tuesday Edition

1. 2 o'clock this afternoon
2. being done with grading for the summer
3. submitting grades
4. not thinking about paperwork and such for a couple of days
5. poems and being able to read and write them

Five Things that Don't Suck, Finals Week Edition

1. being on campus without teaching classes*
2. helping students get finished up
3. cleaning up my office
4. returning library books
5. getting new library books

*don't get me wrong--teaching doesn't suck, either

Five Things that Don't Suck, Slightly Obsessed Edition

1. having the yard buzzing with bees again
2. looking out a back window to see bees coming in and out of the hive
3. waking up with the desire to go outside and hug the hive*
4. how excited Jed is about it
5. the possibility that the next bee order will arrive a week early**

*not recommended
**next week!

Five Things that Don't Suck, Bee Day Edition

1. bees!
2. having a buzzing hive again*
3. nectar
4. removing pollen from the world, one tiny basket** at a time
5. honey

*and a second one in a couple of weeks!!
**seriously. Google "pollen basket" if you don't believe me. It's awesome.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last Day of Classes Edition

1. getting to see a very good class one last time
2. only having one more department meeting until September
3. the lack of meetings in general over the summer
4. keeping calm
5. breathing

Five Things that Don't Suck, Thursday Afternoon Edition

1. being so caught up in work I enjoy that I forget to post a FTTDS list
2. remembering before the day is actually over
3. whatever that ridiculously loud bird is in the maple tree
4. the nest I found in the azalea yesterday
5. spring

Bonus: Charybdis

It's a good week for my poems, I guess. Here is my poem "Charybdis," which went live at The Wide Shore today.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Wednesday Edition

1. how many times I've been able to use the expression "light at the end of the tunnel" lately
2. how very little the tunnel I live in actually resembles a tunnel
3. the stupid, stupid bunnies in our yard*
4. not waking up 17 times last night
5. snail mail

*and lazy. Don't forget lazy

Bonus: Two Poems (that Don't Suck)

Hi again!

Thought I'd let you know I've got two poems up in the latest issue of Compose. I hope you enjoy them.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Tuesday Edition

1. chipmunks
2. broccoli
3. the Washington Monument
4. "Super Freak"
5. whack-a-mole

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last Week of Classes Edition

1. well, just look at the title
2. how many of my students have landed great gigs/internships/funding for the summer
3. how happy they're going to be in a week or two*
4. how happy the dogs are going to be in a week or so
5. being a full-time(ish) poet**

*depending on how  many finals they have
**we'll just ignore all the paperwork and such I'll still have to do once the semester ends

Five Things that Don't Suck, Unscheduled Sunday Edition

1. sleeping in
2. iced coffee
3. getting the hives ready for new bees*
4. maybe a nap
5. having no idea what I'm making for dinner

*next week! next week!

Five Things that Don't Suck, Visiting Artists Edition

1. poets
2. visual artists
3. mystery desserts
4. a clean house
5. really good conversation

Bonus Poem: Calypso

Well, hello again. The kind folk at Young Ravens Literary Review have seen fit to include my poem "Calypso" in their newest issue. Take a look. Read some other stuff, too, while you're there. It's April--National Poetry Month has less than a week to run!

Five Things that Don't Suck, Super Heroes Edition

1. capes
2. abs
3. disguises that might actually disguise someone*
4. justice
5. super strength and/or money

*if that's their jam. If they just want to be all openly super, I'm cool with that

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Edition

1. lunch with Julie*
2. getting a haircut
3. clean clothes
4. preparing for cookie day
5. being almost kinda sorta on top of things

*Hi, Julie!

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Wednesday Edition

1. being less than two weeks away from having bees again*
2. surprises
3. baby otters
4. adult otters
5. flexible thinking

*originally scheduled to arrive this weekend, but I'll survive an extra week. Sniff, sniff.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Damp Tuesday Edition

1. bonus daffodils in the compost pile*
2. bagels with cream cheese
3. getting back into a routine
4. having ideas for art
5. having ideas for poems

*thanks, random squirrel!

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last Two Weeks of Classes Edition

1. when the first meeting of the day cancels and the morning is suddenly free until 9:30
2. the last day of student presentations*
3. being all caught up with grading by the end of the day
4. heavy rain
5. having only one more Monday alarm-based wake-up left after this one**

*although I do love them
**for a while

Bonus: Three Poems that Don't Suck, Plus a Mini-Interview

I've had some people asking why I don't put links to my poems up here, or asking if I would, or asking if I do. So fine, throngs of fans. Here you go. Three poems, and an opportunity to find out how I feel about eels, right here at Prime Number . Hope you're all having a lovely Sunday, and thanks for reading.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Total Day Off Edition

1. having a completely free* day for the first time in weeks
2. reading
3. writing
4. doing a little bit of sketching, maybe
5. not thinking about that asterisk in #1

*well, there's an hour or two of grading I should do...but that's almost like having none

Five Things that Don't Suck, Silk Screen Class Edition

1. t-shirts
2. pink submarines
3. roosters
4. dinosaurs
5. chocolate-covered hazelnuts

Five Things that Don't Suck, Rainy Friday Edition

1. April showers bringin' on those May flowers*
2. it is, in fact, Friday
3. time with one of our nieces
4. when it's warm enough that you don't need to wear your giant wool coat in the rain and you can just put on, say, a light jacket.**
5. Pilgrims

*please!
**or just get wet without fearing a horrible death

Five Things that Don't Suck, Off Campus Edition

1. putting together art for Saturday's screen printing class
2. getting set up with the cable company so I won't accidentally get my internet access shut down for lack of payment*
3. the fact that Jed had apparently never heard the "jalapeno business" joke until last night*
4. good conversations
5. getting the laundry done

*whoops
**despite the fact that I make that joke pretty much every time I use jalapenos

Five Things that Don't Suck, Poetry Edition

1. getting a lovely note from a friend telling me she gave a copy of Dear Turquoise to a man on a plane and that it was helping him (right now!) grieve for his sister
2. the ways in which poetry can create a sense of common humanity
3. poet friends
4. non-poet friends who support poets anyway
5. maybe writing some more poems once I'm finished recharging

Five Things that Don't Suck, Spring Edition

1. the arrival of iced coffee season*
2. the arrival of skirts-without-leggings/tights season
3. the arrival of open-sunroof season
4. the single brave crocus that has appeared in our yard
5. how comically pale my legs are**

*note: there are New Englanders who will tell you that iced coffee is a year-round beverage. They are mistaken. 
**it's okay--when the sun reflects off them, it lengthens the day a little more, thus putting off sunset

Five Things that Don't Suck, New Week Edition

1. fresh starts
2. resetting
3. student presentations
4. the start of iced coffee season
5. the strong possibility of a nap later

Five Things that Don't Suck, Funeral Edition

1. music
2. funny stories
3. when the sun comes out after a long grey week
4. ritual
5. being able to share grief

Five Things that Don't Suck, Best of a Bad Situation Edition

1. seeing people you really like
2. spending time with family*
3. the possibility of mini-eclairs
4. maybe getting a little sleep
5. laughter

*kinda cheating, since these are largely the same people in #1

Five Things that Don't Suck, Guest Teaching Edition

1. heading out to Worcester to meet new poets
2. poetry
3. talking about poetry
4. students who like to write
5. getting to see Jess

Five Things that Don't Suck, Sinus Headache Edition

1. sudafed
2. tylenol
3. ibuprofen*
4. caffeine
5. a nap**

*a couple of hours later, if necessary
**theoretical and unlikely

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Tuesday Edition

1. martingale collars
2. the fact that we once named an orange and white kitten "Fluffernutter"
3. kittens in general
4. blankets
5. fried rice

Five Things that Don't Suck, Sleepy Monday Edition

1. being four weeks away from the last day of classes*
2. being all caught up with grading for the moment so I can spend a bit of the afternoon/evening on fun things*
3. the dogs, who are lying around looking all cute*
4. watching TV tonight with Jed*
5. asterisks*

*and sleeping

Five Things that Don't Suck, Easter Edition

1. bunny trails
2. hippity-hopping*
3. renewal
4. redemption
5. jelly beans

*if that's your thing. You go ahead and do you.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Calm Before the Storm Edition

1. getting an extra honey harvest*
2. making a cake or two
3. not having to hide a bunch of Easter eggs
4. tulips
5. whatever that crazy-loud bird in the rhododendron is

*while trying really hard not to think about why the honey is available...poor bees!

Five Things that Don't Suck, Good Friday Edition

1. contemplation
2. paying attention
3. thinking about ways to be better in/for/of the world
4. quiet
5. knowing that Cadbury mini eggs will soon be off the market for a while*

*Seriously, I have to stop eating Cadbury mini eggs

Five Things that Don't Suck, Out for Breakfast Edition

1. how much better it is than being out to lunch
2. turkey sausage
3. pancakes
4. coffee I don't have to make
5. real maple syrup

Five Things that Don't Suck, Anne White Edition

1. animal prints
2. being a badass
3. "statement" jewelry
4. having a heart that's even bigger than your wine glass
5. love

Five Things that Don't Suck, Rampant Objectification Edition*

1. Jude Law
2. Johnny Depp
3. Idris Elba
4. Tom Hiddleston
5. Elvis Costello

*with apologies to Robert Downey Jr. who just graced the FTTDS lists. Including him would feel like cheating.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Monday Edition

1. candles
2. baby hedgehogs
3. zebra-print socks
4. emery boards
5. not watching commercial TV

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Sunday Edition

1. new followers*
2. bricks
3. bunny-soft dogs
4. pedicures
5. Robert Downey Jr.**

*you know who you are. Hi!
**he hasn't made an appearance on a FTTDS list for a long time. Didn't want him to feel neglected

Five Things that Don't Suck, Pretend It's Not Snowing Again Edition

1. Bermuda
2. madras shorts*
3. sunscreen
4. needing sunscreen
5. fireflies

*although not on me, thanks

Five Things that Don't Suck, Bad Night's Sleep Edition

1. No! Sleep! 'Til Brooklyn! No! Sleep! 'Til Brooklyn!!!!
2. thinking about the implications of diving in too deep*
3. dreams having to kiss me
4. lying in bed, just like Brian Wilson did**
5. shaking like milk*

*go ahead and google that one, young'uns
**I don't actually recommend doing anything like Brian Wilson did/does

Five Things that Don't Suck, It Might As Well Be Spring Edition

1. being pretty sure I've already done a list that uses different lyrics from "It Might As Well Be Spring"
2. whatever it is that's sprouting by the mailbox and along the side of the road
3. the daffodils that are starting to come up behind the campus chapel
4. mud season
5. rain that doesn't freeze when it hits the ground*

*or you

Five Things that Don't Suck, Good Night Edition

1. true, loyal friends
2. feeling safe enough with each other to get angry
3. calming down
4. standing by
5. making everything right

Five Things that Don't Suck, Monday Morning Edition

1. noticing the very beginnings of buds on the dogwood
2. bunny tracks in the snow
3. the idea of possibly having a day where the high is both 2 digits AND begins with a 5
4. beginning to feel like maybe I can  put my LL Bean boots away until December
5. thin socks

Five Things that Don't Suck, Feeling Like a Poet Edition

1. poems
2. reading poems
3. writing poems
4. revising poems
5. the way time can stop

Five Things that Don't Suck, Anxiety-Fighting Edition

1. little round puppy bellies
2. gumdrops
3. floating quietly down a river in mid-July
4. massages
5. fuzzy blankets

Five Things that Don't Suck, First Day of Spring Edition

1. being able--finally!--to write this edition
2. whatever it is that's sprouting in the snow melt along the sidewalk*
3. tulips
4. daffodils
5. forsythia

*hope it's not an alien, but it's green, so that's all I really care about at this point

Five Things that Don't Suck, Everybody's Birthday Edition

1. the vast quantity of people I know who were born on this day
2. whatever goes on in July that accounts for so many mid-March babies
3. thinking of my grown friends wearing little cone-shaped party hats, even though most of them probably will not do so
4. babies, puppies, kittens, and other small creatures
5. cake

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Wednesday Edition

1. having a little time in the morning to get some reading done
2. fleece-lined leggings
3. fleece-lined anything, probably*
4. the thought of eventually being able to put all these sweaters away
5. how warm the sun is now, even on very cold days like today

*theoretical

Five Things that Don't Suck, Rainy St. Patrick's Day Edition

1. boots
2. snakes
3. the knowledge that as long as you're wearing #1, #2 probably can't hurt you
4. not drinking green beer
5. how much faster the snow will melt in the rain

Five Things that Don't Suck, Back on Campus Edition

1. the next seven weeks
2. reading student writing*
3. student presentations
4. holding tutorials
5. the weeks that follow immediately after the next seven weeks

*it really doesn't. GRADING, on the other hand...

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last Day of Spring Break Edition

1. walking the dogs and feeling like spring might actually be a possibility eventually
2. being blissfully unaware of the forecast for snow this afternoon
3. having pretty much no agenda for the day
4. not quite being sure what you're going to do in class tomorrow*
5. that time of year when the pellet stove starts turning itself off because it's warm enough in the house

*I'll remember eventually

Five Things that Don't Suck, Ten to Make Up for Yesterday Edition

1. being so excited about getting ready for poets to visit that I forget to post a FTTDS list
2. being pretty sure I can come up with ten today
3. laughter
4. food
5. the fact that it's warm enough to rain instead of snow today*
6. Band-Aids with cartoons on them**
7. a warm house
8. getting my run in first thing
9. running again
10. figuring out a way to come back to the whole running thing without making myself crazy

*sorry, Maine...
**there is no injury a little Hello Kitty can't make better***
***the above is patently false. See a medical professional if necessary

Five Things that Don't Suck, Printmaking Edition

1. getting an idea
2. not really knowing where it came from
3. not having the actual talent to make it work*
4. figuring out a way around the whole talent thing
5. making something that somehow ends up being 100% yours

*it might seem at first glance like this would suck. But it doesn't. See #4.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Melting Edition

1. the steady drip drip drip of snow coming off the roof
2. how much of the melting is staying outside the house*
3. temps in the fifties today
4. the way in which #3 up there is in no way a typo
5. the possibility of not having to wear my LL Bean boots every day for the rest of my life

*all of it, at the moment

Five Things that Don't Suck, Running Edition

1. being on spring break so I can get my run in first thing instead of waiting until the afternoon/evening
2. not needing coffee to wake up
3. enjoying a leisurely cup* after my run, with breakfast
4. House of Cards on the iPad for distraction
5. being 80% finished with my Fitbit goal for the day before breakfast

*or two

Five Things that Don't Suck, Bees Edition

*Note: Yesterday, we confirmed our suspicions that we'd lost both hives. We won't know anything about causation for sure until we can do a full hive inspection (right now there's still a foot or more of snow around the hives and limited space to work), but for various reasons, we suspect the unrelenting cold this winter did them in. We've been hearing similar stories from friends in the area. We'll get more bees this spring (they're already ordered) and take it from there.

1. pollen-covered legs
2. how big the eyes are on the drones
3. how gentle they really are
4. getting to wear the big netted hat
5. honey

Five Things that Don't Suck, Save the Daylight!!! Edition

1. daylight. In the evening. When I need it most
2. harbingers of spring
3. how light it's gonna still be at 6 o'clock tonight
4. the glory that is our life-giving sun, available to us later into the day than it has been during the past several*months
5. not having to get up at a specific time today

*long, dark, terrible

Five Things that Don't Suck, All I Ever Wanted Edition

1. a stuffed, mounted, knitted badger head
2. temps above freezing
3. sunshine
4. a knitted fox stole
5. the world on a string

Five Things that Don't Suck, Day Before Spring Break Edition

1. the pool over how many students will be skipping classes today
2. lunch meetings
3. walking off campus this afternoon with all of my work done*
4. writing for a week
5. not waking up with my alarm for 9 more days

*theoretical but probable

Five Things that Don't Suck, It Is [Expletive Deleted] Snowing Again Edition

1. it's pretty*
2. it's the poor man's fertilizer or something
3. knowing that if I fall off the roof I might not die because I'll land in a giant pile of snow***
4. having no intention of going onto the roof in the first place
5. April

*please note that grass is pretty, too**
**as are, say, daffodils and crocuses and such
***

Five Things that Don't Suck, Mystery Theme Wednesday* Edition

1. the Hunchback of Notre Dame
2. Arabian Camels
3. Bactrian Camels
4. that Digital Underground Song
5. the possibility that all the king's horses and all the king's men might actually be able to put one together again

*hint hint

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last-Minute Cancellation Edition

1. wondering if it might actually be warm enough for a walk around campus
2. a little extra time to catch up
3. going into spring break...prepared?*
4. reading a poem
5. writing a poem

*extremely theoretical

Five Things that Don't Suck, Not a Snow Day Edition

1. whoever shoveled out the neighbors' driveway so they could head out for dialysis before the rest of the street was even awake this morning
2. being strong enough to take care of our driveway
3. doing Jed's share of the shoveling so he can stay in bed a little later*
4. having the first appointment of my day cancel so I don't have to rush, either
5. cocoa

*morning people unite!!!

Five Things that Don't Suck, Thug Life Edition

1. making the Fitbit my bitch*
2. wondering if this is going to cut into my quality napping time
3. the opportunity for much swearing
4. meeting that opportunity head-on
5. not choosing the thug life**


*Fitbitch
**it chooses you, my friends

Five Things that Don't Suck, Saturday Morning Earworm Edition

1. calling the po-lice and the fireman
2. making a dragon wanna retire, man
3. girls hittin' their Halleluja
4. Saturday night*
5. not caring if you believe me or not because you have my permission to just watch

*especially if we're in the spot

Five Things that Don't Suck, Can't Beat 'Em or Join 'Em Edition

1. wearing a skirt instead of jeans to work for the first time since the first week in the semester
2. becoming immune to drops in temperature
3. hitching myself to the star that is sublimation
4. looking up the average monthly temperatures for April
5. thinking about July

Five Things that Don't Suck, Lunch Meeting Edition

1. finally getting to see Nan again
2. getting my grading done first*
3. how much better Butler is feeling today
4. creme brulee
5. running it off

*theoretical but possible**
**theoretically

Five Things that Don't Suck, Sleepy Sleepy Edition

1. nightcaps*
2. wondering if the idea of a nightcap cocktail disappeared somewhere circa 1978**
3. how "nightcap" is a euphemism***
4. sleeping in
5. sleeping

*if the headwear, theoretical; if the cocktail, well...
**or maybe just when MASH went off the air?
***we all know Hawkeye wasn't just having a drink, people

Five Things that Don't Suck, Stuck for a Theme Edition

1. a really, really good pen
2. purple ink
3. a good pair of boots
4. red ones, if you can manage 'em
5. pickles

Five Things that Don't Suck, Manic Monday Edition

1. how I just got that song stuck in your head*
2. the fake whistling on "Walk Like an Egyptian"
3. the way the Bangles pretended to whistle in the video**
4. being able to Google the names of the members of the Bangles
5. or anything else, really, for that matter

*theoretical
**seriously. It's not whistling. You're not fooling anyone, Michael Steele

Five Things that Don't Suck, Catching a Break Edition

1. when the rain that was predicted to fall all over the feet of snow currently on the ground never actually arrives*
2. getting the driveway cleared** before breakfast
3. coffee and a muffin
4. sleepy dogs
5. sleepy husband


*and there was much rejoicing, followed by much complaining about the amount of time people spent trying to clear ice dams yesterday for no real reason
**well, cleared-ISH, which is about as good as it gets this month

Five Things that Don't Suck, Calm Before the (Zillionth) Storm Edition

1. how bright the sun is
2. the way it makes the snow glisten
3. thinking that "glisten" should have been invented as a word just to describe sun on snow
4. knowing that it's actually meant to describe things that are shiny because they're wet
5. deliberately not thinking about the rain that's going to come and make this particular snow wet and then how that wet snow is going to freeze into a solid, New-England-shaped block of ice and horror

Five Things that Don't Suck, Freezy Friday Edition

1. when you accidentally make a wish at the same time as someone who lives in a warm place and you both happen to be touching the same mystical object and you get suddenly transformed into someone who lives in the Bahamas
2. the important life lessons you can learn by living in someone else's flip flops*
3. being willing to spend all your comedy gold in the notes section****
4. water-skiing squirrels
5. wondering if there are squirrels in the Bahamas


*lesson one: LIVING IN THE BAHAMAS IS AWESOME**
**theoretical***
***who are we kidding? We all know it would be awesome
****asterisks don't grow on trees, people

Five Things that Don't Suck, Birdman Edition

1. when Jed thinks a movie is really weird and likes it anyway
2. Michael effing Keaton
3. Edward Norton
4. having one's own drum score
5. loooonnnnnng, mesmerizing shots

Five Things that Don't Suck, Here Comes the Sun Edition

1. a very slow, gradual melt
2. not drowning in a sea of slush
3. a sliver of blue sky
4. sunglasses
5. sunroofs

Five Things that Don't Suck, Spring Thinking Edition

1. bees
2. when the bees show up at the hive so loaded with pollen that they can barely land
3. sunshine. On the bees
4. bees drinking out of the birdbath
5. the way Jed calls them "ladies"

Five Things that Don't Suck, Presidential Edition

1. that rug with the big presidential seal on it
2. comparing your life to The West Wing
3. occasionally getting to sign, say, the Emancipation Proclamation*
4. riding  your Segway up and down the corridors of the White House while shouting, "Yipeeeeee!" and knowing there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it**
5. working from home

*or something similar. I'm not picky.
**theoretical

Five Things that Don't Suck, Looking on the Bright Side Edition

1. February is half over
2. icicles are pretty
3. when done correctly, shoveling is good exercise
4. if it gets bad enough, maybe we can get sled dogs
5. blankets

Five Things that Don't Suck, Valentine's Day Edition

1. not basing your self-worth on whether you currently do or do not have a partner
2. not being able to come up with anything after typing that first one
3. deciding to go rogue
4. wondering whether that is or is not better than going commando*
5. wishing everyone a Happy Half-Priced Chocolates Day Eve

*not gonna judge. You do you.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Working for the Weekend Edition

1. headbands
2. open shirts
3. open shirts with bandannas
4. all that hair
5. the possibility of getting that song stuck in your head

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Edition

1. throw rugs
2. archery
3. Popular Mechanics magazine
4. that "lime in the coconut" song*
5. people who are really good with laying mosaic tile

*especially the Muppet version: "Doctor! Can you tell me what to take? I said Doctor! To relieve this flipper ache?"

Five Things that Don't Suck, Warm-Sounding Songs Edition

1. Copacabana
2. Havin' a Heat Wave
3. Hot! Hot! Hot!
4. Hot in Herre
5. Fire

Five Things that Don't Suck, Ay Yi Yi Edition

1. long snow brushes for the car
2. neighbors who help each other out
3. sweaters
4. the possibility of eventually having a full week on campus*
5. the way in which Thursday's storm is just going to pass right by us...

*still strictly theoretical

Five Things that Don't Suck, Another #&%!ing Snow Day Edition

1. the fact that I don't have to make these days up at the end of the semester
2. having a plan in place to get through the curriculum
3. banana bread
4. wool socks
5. Jed working for a place that values their people more than their bottom line

Five Things that Don't Suck, Lazy Sunday Edition

1. sleeping in
2. having breakfast with my sweets
3. when grading papers goes more smoothly than expected
4. naps
5. how I made "nap" up there plural and you thought I was speaking figuratively

Five Things that Don't Suck Please Make it Stop Edition

1. snow balls
2. snow forts
3. sledding
4. cross-country skiing
5. how pretty snow makes everything look when it first falls

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Friday Edition

1. Ella Fitzgerald
2. candlelight
3. robins
4. the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel
5. lozenges

Five Things that Don't Suck, Off-Campus Thursday Edition

1. a really good haircut
2. having a poem* accepted
3. a much-needed nap
4. a note from a good friend
5. snail mail

*or three

Five Things that Don't Suck, Mystery Theme Edition

1. Key Largo*
2. the Bahamas
3. the British Virgin Islands
4. the US Virgin Islands
5. Cabo San Lucas

*the place, not the movie, although the movie definitely does not suck

Five Things that Don't Suck, Arctic Wasteland Edition

1. going to campus on cleared, safe roads*
2. coffee
3. cocoa
4. tea
5. the way the wind lifts a skim of snow and blows it across the yard, sort of like sand in a desert, which would at least have the courtesy to be warm

*theoretical

Five Things that Don't Suck, Post-Super Bowl Edition

1. Vince Wilfork
2. Tom Brady
3. Rob Gronkowski
4. Julian Edelman
5. Malcolm Butler*

*who knew?

Five Things that Don't Suck, New Hobby Edition

1. ink
2. paper
3. carving tools
4. rollers
5. drying racks

Five Things that Don't Suck, Theoretical Tropical Vacation Edition

1. rum drinks
2. cabana boys
3. bare feet in the sand
4. snorkeling
5. the word "snorkel"

Five Things that Don't Suck, A Little Dizzy Edition

1. Sudafed
2. not having to drive right away
3. rolling down a long hill in the summer
4. spinning around and around until you fall over
5. maybe only feeling this way voluntarily

Five Things that Don't Suck, Almost Forgot to Post Today's Edition Edition

1. having fun
2. making art
3. the idea of calling anything I make "art"
4. a clear driveway
5. the way the days are slowly getting longer

Five Things that Don't Suck, Blizzard of '15 Edition

1. snow days
2. power/lights/heat*
3. books
4. oatmeal
5. hand-knit socks, made to measure for my feet

*which I have probably just jinxed

Five Things that Don't Suck, Monday Edition

1. Mondays that could potentially be Fridays
2. getting lots of fun stuff done over the weekend
3. chocolate cake
4. still having power
5. coffee

Five Things that Don't Suck, Sounds Like a Euphemism but Isn't Edition

1. strapping down the hives
2. using the hard brayer
3. steady, even rolling
4. bone folder*
5. I have neighbor who plows me out when it snows

*Ow.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Belated Saturday Edition

1. not having to really shovel anything
2. cocoa
3. being a cool aunt
4. not having to get up for anything today
5. sketch books

Five Things that Don't Suck, End of the First Week Edition

1. crisp air
2. fleece-lined anything*
3. short, productive days
4. getting to know my new students
5. not having to grade anything yet

*technically theoretical, but I have yet to meet an item of fleece-lined clothing that wasn't super-comfy and warm

Five Things that Don't Suck, Calm Between Storms Edition

1. feeling the tension drain out of my shoulders
2. being able to freely move my jaw again
3. hugging a giant greyhound*
4. waggy tails
5. breath


*or one of any size, but only if the greyhound in question actually enjoys hugs**
**mine both request them. Your mileage may vary

Five Things that Don't Suck, Back on Campus Edition

1. walking through the library stacks to get to my office
2. the stacks
3. meeting new students who have no idea how much fun they're going to have
4. or how much learning they're going to be able to do
5. hearing students say, "Professor!" and be all excited about it

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last Day of Break Edition

1. not getting up with an alarm at 6:30 in the morning
2. comfy warm blankies
3. leisurely cups of coffee while surfing the web
4. time to create and think and create some more
5. being rested and ready to get back to it

Five Things that Don't Suck, MLK Jr. Day Edition

1. dreams and people willing to work to make them into reality
2. how far we have come
3. acknowledging how far we still have to go
4. the content of so many people's characters
5. getting to know people from as wide a swath of gender identification/race/ethnicity/culture/socio-economic class/sexual orientation/religion/etc. as possible

People, hatred is born of fear, and fear is born of ignorance. Get to know--truly know--one person from a group that you hate or fear or simply know nothing about, and you will open yourself to a new world, not of tolerance but of acceptance. It is extremely difficult to hate people of color if you come to know and love a person of color--even one. Same goes for homosexuals, people of a different faith (or of no faith or of a questioning faith or of a faith if you have none), the under-educated, the homeless...you're smart people. You get the picture.

Five Things that Don't Suck, Trying not to Think About Football Edition

1. strong, powerful rhinos*
2. tall, unstoppable superheroes**
3. kick-ass ninjas***
4. steam locomotives that just keep driving forward****
5. focused, precise frikkin laser beams*****

* like, say, Vince Wilfork
**or maybe Rob Gronkowski
***named Julian Edelman
****sorta in the LeGarrette Blount mold
***** Dr. Evil's Sharks Tom Brady

Five Things that Don't Suck, Stuff Happening on Saturday Morning Edition

1. having the first of three poems posted at three drops from a cauldron
2. a timely delivery of wood pellets*
3. getting exercise for the day by hauling those pellets 40 lbs. at a time**
4. a warm corn muffin with butter**
5. hot water with lemon, ginger, and honey***

*staying warm definitely does not suck
**that is not a euphemism
***from your own bees if you can

Five Things that Don't Suck, Last Off-Campus Friday for a While Edition

1. the ways in which the upcoming semester still doesn't seem real
2. having a little time left for myself
3. sweatpants and comfy sweaters
4. curling up with a book
5. naps

Five Things that Don't Suck, Missing the Bees Edition

1. having a bee poem appear at Print-Oriented Bastards this morning
2. deliberately ignoring the fact that it's a poem where the bees are starved out because they didn't have enough food for the winter
3. healthy, living bees
4. buzzing from the hives
5. the fact that April will be here eventually

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Tuesday Edition

1. lunch with a long-time* friend at a short-time place
2. Twizzlers**
3. cashmere socks***
4. apostrophes***
5. asterisks

*please note I did not call her an "old" friend. Nope.
**Red Vines are for lunatics and Leslie Knope. So...lunatics
***don't knock 'em 'til you try 'em

Five Things that Don't Suck, Practically Indian Summer Around Here Edition

1. the pellet stove actually being able to keep up with the heating needs of the house
2. being able to feel my nose*
3. almost writing that note down there* to read just "inside or outside" and realizing some wise-ass would think I meant feeling the inside or outside of my nose
4. intelligent, funny readers
5. festive scarves

*while inside or outside

Five Things that Don't Suck, Post-Game Edition

1. really good games like that Pats/Ravens game last night*
2. Edelman. I mean, seriously. Edelman.
3. watching that one Edelman pass over and over again and just laughing at the pure beauty of it every time
4. deciding you've seen it enough, then watching it once more
5. celebratory margaritas

*only good because we won

Five Things that Don't Suck, Come Saturday Morning Edition

1. warm cozy sweaters
2. a comfy throw
3. the second cup of coffee
4. a piece of freshly-baked blueberry bread
5. slippers

Five Things that Don't Suck, Out to Breakfast with a Friend Edition

1. not running late*
2. pancakes?
3. waffles?
4. some sort of egg thing with some crispy potatoes?
5. decisions

*theoretical

Five Things that Don't Suck, Popsicle Edition

1. remembering to open the cabinet under the kitchen sink so the pipes won't freeze*
2. running water**
3. great big sweatshirts
4. a big warm dog who likes to be used as a footrest
5. coffee***

*theoretical
**everywhere but the kitchen sink, anyway
***made with water from whatever sink is running

Five Things that Don't Suck, Baby It's Cold Outside Edition

1. not caring that I likely named another edition this same thing a year or so ago
2. being too lazy to check
3. having access to four throws at the same time while Jed's at work
4. hot water with lemon, ginger, and honey*
5. fingerless mittens

*if you can get honey from your own bees, so much the better because yum

Five Things that Don't Suck, Random Monday Edition

1. having a salon*
2. giraffes
3. scented magic markers
4. brownstones
5. pears

*specifically a sort of Algonquin Round Table kind of thing, but if you want your own hair and/or nail salon, I say go for it, my friend. You do you.