Five Things that Don't Suck, Calm Before the (Zillionth) Storm Edition

1. how bright the sun is
2. the way it makes the snow glisten
3. thinking that "glisten" should have been invented as a word just to describe sun on snow
4. knowing that it's actually meant to describe things that are shiny because they're wet
5. deliberately not thinking about the rain that's going to come and make this particular snow wet and then how that wet snow is going to freeze into a solid, New-England-shaped block of ice and horror

Five Things that Don't Suck, Freezy Friday Edition

1. when you accidentally make a wish at the same time as someone who lives in a warm place and you both happen to be touching the same mystical object and you get suddenly transformed into someone who lives in the Bahamas
2. the important life lessons you can learn by living in someone else's flip flops*
3. being willing to spend all your comedy gold in the notes section****
4. water-skiing squirrels
5. wondering if there are squirrels in the Bahamas


*lesson one: LIVING IN THE BAHAMAS IS AWESOME**
**theoretical***
***who are we kidding? We all know it would be awesome
****asterisks don't grow on trees, people

Five Things that Don't Suck, Birdman Edition

1. when Jed thinks a movie is really weird and likes it anyway
2. Michael effing Keaton
3. Edward Norton
4. having one's own drum score
5. loooonnnnnng, mesmerizing shots

Five Things that Don't Suck, Here Comes the Sun Edition

1. a very slow, gradual melt
2. not drowning in a sea of slush
3. a sliver of blue sky
4. sunglasses
5. sunroofs

Five Things that Don't Suck, Spring Thinking Edition

1. bees
2. when the bees show up at the hive so loaded with pollen that they can barely land
3. sunshine. On the bees
4. bees drinking out of the birdbath
5. the way Jed calls them "ladies"

Five Things that Don't Suck, Presidential Edition

1. that rug with the big presidential seal on it
2. comparing your life to The West Wing
3. occasionally getting to sign, say, the Emancipation Proclamation*
4. riding  your Segway up and down the corridors of the White House while shouting, "Yipeeeeee!" and knowing there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it**
5. working from home

*or something similar. I'm not picky.
**theoretical

Five Things that Don't Suck, Looking on the Bright Side Edition

1. February is half over
2. icicles are pretty
3. when done correctly, shoveling is good exercise
4. if it gets bad enough, maybe we can get sled dogs
5. blankets